Saturday, August 11, 2012

Bumper Stuck

I'd like to talk about something that's been bothering me for a long time now: The decline of bumper stickers in America. It used to be that I could understand someone's opinion based on a well-placed decal without going through all the hassle of talking to that person.

If I wanted to know where someone stood on the next presidential election, boom, it was right there in front of me, idling below the gun rack of a pick up truck. If I wanted to know whose kids were smarter than mine, slam, the parents in the beamer ahead of me had kids who were honor students. And if I wanted to know if there was a baby on board, smash, a sign warned me so that I could protect that minivan from my normally careless driving.

Bumper stickers were perhaps the greatest thing the Greeks ever invented, followed by togas, and the letter Omicron. I still remember Plato's hugely successful sticker "Soma Sema" (The Body is a Tomb), which survived on war chariots well into Roman times.

Bumper stickers take all the messy guess work out of life. I can't tell you how many times I've been born again after staring at a fish for hours on end in rush hour traffic, or how I learned to coexist

from the guy who cut me off as I was trying to merge.

I think I've said enough on this topic. Until next time: Insert Opinion Here.


Renae Weight Mackley said...

Taking away the guesswork takes away some of the fun when it's one on one, but a whole freeway or parking lot full of bumper stickers would be helpful. Fun post.

Little Buddy said...

personaly i like the age old "my kid beat up your honor studend"

EJ Patten said...

This is the kind of hard-hitting post that makes my blog one of the top 100,000 blogs on the Internet.

Katrina L. Lantz said...

LOL! Love this. These are the kinds of posts I need after a day like today. Thank you!

My bumper sticker says "Mitt." Either I'm a huge baseball fan with a strange connection to my gear or I like silver-haired Republicans running for president. I'm not telling which.

Unknown said...

I have a head shot of Curly from the "3 Stooges" on my rear window, and a bumper sticker that says "Johnny Cash is a friend of mine".

Nice blog subject

Tayla Bannan said...

You’re right about that. It is one of the greatest creations and I don’t know why some people want to argue about it.

Aidan Howell said...

I still use stickers for customizing my possessions. Its better than paint and once you've grown tired of the design, it peels off easily. I don't think that they should stop the manufacturing of these because it still has uses.

Alexander Griffin said...

Bumper stickers can enhance the look of your car. Its a wonderful alternative to those expensive paint jobs and rim replacements. To add to that, its easy to maintain and you can easily change it when you get bored with the current design.